Back to the Future: Hobbit Style
by Silverneko9lives0
Summary: Based on an unfinished and unposted fanfic I'm currently writing. They were told not to touch the gold. Now they're back in Erebor before Smaug came. Bagginshield crack and puppy crushes, time travel-au


Dwalin looked left. Then right. He swore, massaging his forehead. "Fuck it," he muttered. Thorin was busy screaming at Nori, Gloin, and Bofur. Gandalf looked amused and Bilbo frightened.

Thorin sighed. "Mahal above, I'm getting too old for Nori's shenanigans."

"Oi! _Gloin_ said get a shovel."

"You could have refused! Damn klepto…" Dwalin pointed out.

Nori shrugged. "Look, we know where we are. The only question is when. You don't see anything related to a dragon around and we did run into this room because _guards showed up_. Safe to say we're back home pre-dragon era."

Thorin's fury ebbed to curiosity. He stroked his beard. "I wonder if I can convince my younger self to convince Father to lock Grandfather in the Bin then before everything goes sour. Or do you think it's a little late for that?"

Dwalin knew he shouldn't. Thorin was his king, so hitting him atop the head was never a good idea, but the _urge _alone…

The door opened. Three children rushed in and slammed the door shut.

"You think we lost them?" the ginger said. The two brunettes glared at him. "What? It's not my fault we walked in on them doing…doing…" he shuddered.

"It _is_ your fault, Nori," one of them snarled. "It's always your fault!"

"Calm down, Thorin," the third sighed. "Getting angry won't get us out of this mess. Not with both Balin and Dori hunting us down."

"Easy for you to say, Dwalin."

Dwalin, Thorin, and Nori stared at their younger selves, who had yet to notice the others in the room. They backed away as the youths noticed. Little Thorin screamed.

"A-A-A-Adad!" he shouted, looking at Thorin. "I swear, we didn't do anything! Balin and Dori were being indecent and—"

"Thorin Oakenshield, it's one thing to intimidate those your own age and size, figuratively speaking," Bilbo snarled, having watched the debacle, "but quite another when children are involved!"

Thorin hid his face in his hands. "Halfling, don't bother…"

"I'm sorry about him," Bilbo said, smiling at the boys. "He's a gruff one, but he means well. I think."

Little Thorin stared at Bilbo, a crimson blush building on his face.

"Oi," Little Nori said. "Thorin? You okay? You're all red?" Little Thorin only blushed deeper. "Really red."

Little Dwalin sighed. "Sorry, Sir. My friends are idiots." Little Thorin slammed his foot into Little Dwalin's back, sending him flying.

Bilbo frowned at the youth. "That was not nice. Apologize to your friend this instant." Dwalin and Nori balked when Little Thorin actually looked _upset_. He bowed his head and latched on to Bilbo's arm before looking at Little Dwalin who rubbed his back, glaring.

"Sorry, Dwalin," he said, loud enough to be heard before hiding his face in Bilbo's chest. Bilbo patted Little Thorin's back.

"Now that wasn't so bad, was it?"

Nori and Dwalin turned to Thorin, leering.

"I see how it is now," Nori snorted.

"Right…so clear it makes a Dwarf wonder why he didn't notice it before."

"Shut up," Thorin growled through grit teeth. Gandalf lit his pipe, rather amused. Thorin turned to him. "Tell me you can get us back."

"Well, time travel is rather tricky. It may take a while to figure it out. In the meantime I suggest you get comfortable. We can go and explain things to your grandfather now or later, but we will have to eventually."

Thorin groaned. He loved his grandfather. Really. But to face the man after he'd been dead for all these years and having time to contemplate the decisions Thror had made…Thorin felt he might do something he'd regret.

He glanced in Bilbo's direction where his younger still clung to the Hobbit in a death grip, seeming now to be less upset and amiably talking to Bilbo about whatever came to mind. He turned to Dwalin to see his friend's younger self admiring the older's tattoos.

"Can I get as many as you do when I'm older?"

"Sure, Kid," Dwalin laughed. Nori was giving his own younger self tips on how to avoid being caught so often. There were certain things best left alone, Thorin decided.

"Um, Mister Bilbo," his younger self said, drawing Thorin's attention back to him and Bilbo. "When I grow up, will you be my consort?"

Bilbo blushed. "Well…I…uh…"

Thorin's mouth twitched. He felt torn between amusement and fury. Of all the luck! Did he really have to compete with his younger self? Could he _not _get a break and wait until the blasted journey was over before he could discuss this with Bilbo?

Thorin sighed. "Fuck my life…"

"There are children present!"


End file.
